Speaking of hunger, I felt actual hunger for the first time in a long time on Wednesday morning. Now since then, the feeling is something that I don't want to lose. It's almost like an accomplishment whenever I get a hunger pang and it feels like, if I binge, then I'll lose the hunger that I've worked towards and I'll have to start over. So, I think I like feeling hungry. It feels like the fat is melting off whenever I get that feeling. That's pretty fucked up. I need to quit associating hunger with success.
Monday 26 May 2014
Hunger
So, yesterday (Sunday), I weighed myself and was 147 lbs! Can I get a what-what? Then I weighed again this morning and was 146. This is the lowest weight I've been since lord knows how long. I'm a little frustrated though because I ate lots of calories in quick succession today (about 1100 in 30 minutes) I'm worried to death that it will make me gain. It was so stupid of me to have done that, but at least it was at 1 in the afternoon. It gives me lots of time between my miniature binge and tomorrow morning's weigh-in. I've decided that, if I gained, I fast tomorrow. If I maintained, 12-4 window. Loss means forgetting about it and moving forward. This is mostly because my GW2 deadline is May 31 and I want to keep on schedule. Assuming that I maintain tomorrow, I have four days to lose two pounds. I'm praying for a loss, expecting a gain. Ugh. Why did I do that. Well, thankfully I already feel hungry and it's only 9 pm. So, I'm going to sleep hungry, thank god.
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1100 calories in 30 minutes. oh man. yesterday i did that but with 850ish cals. and i also had to fast afterwards.
ReplyDeleteyeah. focus on the fact that it was 1 in the afternoon. you didn't break your time limit or anything. and man, going to sleep hungry for me is the worst. because i can't sleep well when i'm hungry so i just lie in bed for about 2-4 hours, and then i'd fall asleep.
i get that whole "hunger = success" thing. but i don't go by it anymore. i get annoyed when i feel hungry, and when i get a hunger pang, and i'm afraid that it'll make me not stick to my diet. because usually, i start puking afterwards from how empty i'd be. i have to eat quite consistently throughout the day because i'd get puke-y if not. and if my mood is bad, even worse!
-Sam Lupin
Ehhh, 1100 calories is a lot.
DeleteIt's funny, I can't go to sleep full! Not like binge full, but content full. I just feel like, if that's the case, then I messed up massively. Then again I never really sleep well anyways heeh.
I find it harder to stick to my diet when I'm not actually hungry and I'm having food cravings instead.
Wow that's horrible that you vomit when you are too hungry :(. Take care of yourself!
"You can complain if the weight is still there after your period ends." oh, i like this comment. so if i lose weight, i win. if i don't, i get complaining rights. nice.
ReplyDeletei write Glee fanfiction sweetie.
https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1353154/eloquentfever is my main-ish one. :) and https://www.fanfiction.net/u/4777197/roselessrescue is my other one but it only has one story.
-Sam Lupin
PS. fanfiction > life.
Oh interesting! I'll admit that I've watched only a handful of episodes of Glee and certainly not in chronological order, but perhaps I'll start watching?
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